@dan “of *course* Muffin hung her butt outside the litter box and pooped on the floor, that little Aries. It’s two weeks past the solstice and Scorpio is in retrograde.”

@dan I know exactly who asked for this. I’ve dated that person.

The cat person who is way too into astrology and also works as a “life coach and spiritual advisor.” They spend all their time re-setting the crystal arrangements that decorate every flat surface in the home to keep the house “balanced,” while their cats spend all their time knocking them onto the floor.