My fedicomrades, in the coming camps, what color triangles are going to be on your sleeve? Will you be having any additional adornments?

Three hours awake, nap #2 coming up

Ylellä taas ruuvattu jotain seurantoja, mainoskovetetulla FireFoxilla antaa upotetuille videoille "Hups, jokin meni pieleen. Sisältöä ei voi toistaa." mustan ruudun, kun taas tehdaspuhdaassa Vivaldissa toimivat normaalisti

So, I used to be quite slim, like 67ish kg, easy size S. Could play Hedwig, no problem.Then mental health stuff happened, and I gained quite a bit of weight.Then I started strength training at the gym, and at my best I was like 86kg and pretty muscular. Dunno what my fat percentage was and don't care, not zero, that never was a goal and I wasn't super cut, but like, some sensible one anyways. But I didn't really like myself, physically, in this configuration anyways.Now life has happened again and I'm still 86kg or so with prolly less than half of the muscle strength I used to have (still a lot more than like, 3 months ago, when it was even less). And yeah, a body that looks like that too, which is bumming me out quite a bit.I've kinda surmised there's no going back to my original, Hedwig-size-androgynous-self, my body's just not gonna adjust back to it after all that, and I'm not exactly young either anymore. Seems I can't keep up the strength training regime either (and there's also some health reasons why heavy strength training is prolly not good for me physically, even). So what are my options here? Acceptance of course, but apart from that, as I'm not that good with that one either