My cat is emotionally kneady

Can’t afford therapy. I was talking to my neighbor’s cat just so I could pretend, but they changed the locks.

Hey everyone! Please give my homie @lacroixboi a follow! He's the kind of funny I aspire to be!

Cleaning the cat box like the world’s saddest archaeologist

I'm not afraid of things that go bump in the night. I'm afraid things that go bump in the night and then say, "Shit! Do you think someone heard us?"

"Living my truth," I say to myself as the brick flies through the window. "Manifesting." I smile at my reflection in the broken glass. "Namaste."