your mind control ray fucking sucks if people can just talk normally and disobey your orders while they're in it #monsterdon

9 minutes is enough time for a self-contained alien action climax and retconning a story into the movie, if only they don't get bogged down in the protagonist saying one hundred million lines about nothing #monsterdon

on september 17th the aliens are gonna slide by earth, see that their scout has mind controlled only 5 people while the earth people's military is mounting a response, and just cruise on by #monsterdon

oh sure so every scottish person just trying to making an honest living by robbing american bikers is a glassy eyed alien slave, right #monsterdon

they gave the alien about 2 minutes of screen time so they could fit in 15 minutes of "scottish people saying things" #monsterdon

if this guy would stop narrating to himself in his own interal monologue for one second to call back to his newspaper and be like "hey can you send me a couple more guys down here there are aliens" #monsterdon

bro not moments ago you were saying that you knew for certain the alien was fine because it was an intelligent creature and you were going to do some geometry together. you can't play the 'fundamentally unpredictable alien lifeform' card anymore #monsterdon

my dogs go get backup what the fuck #monsterdon

second rule of alien encounters: continue to tell nobody, assume they will turn you into a god, and kidnap them
#monsterdon

go to sleep everyone i'll just go ahead and derive a universal language from geometry and i'll fill you in tomorrow #monsterdon

excuse me professor what the fuck do you mean we're going to talk to it with geometry, and why aren't you in bed? #monsterdon

first rule of alien encounters: tell no one and lead them directly back to your house #monsterdon

boooo this alien fucking sucks. dying immediately for no reason is a definite skill issue. #monsterdon

just relax, all he wants are your polygons. #monsterdon

father is out here leading me to get my mind melted by the flashlight #monsterdon

no you old fuck there are more differences between water and space than density everyone needs to stop listening to this guy #monsterdon

"oh nothing's wrong, we just had a bad case of the jitters, my father had his brain melted by a UFO"
#monsterdon

in scotland they just go wandering around the rocky, uneven lowlands in the pitch black night with no lights of any kind #monsterdon

awfully rude to discriminate against this guy just because he is low poly #monsterdon

when a cars tire pops it releases a protective cloud of fine chaff that disrupts the machinery used to replace tires by both the driver and any would-be bandits #monsterdon