You calm down
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Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.None of that sounds productive to me. It seems accusatory and self-satisfied to the point of being abusive. Sounds like the kind of things infuriatingly rude people say and do to try and deflect from their own toxicity.
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I know this is a joke but it made me think how messed up it is that we’ve outsourced recognizing our own emotions lol
Also, now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things
now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things
Only if you choose devices that require all data go through their servers, like a garmin.
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“You” statements are often read as accusatory, consider the “I” statement: “I need you to calm down because I’m becoming stressed by your attitude”
“I feel stressed with your attitude” is the I statement. It needs to start with your feelings on a particularly situation.
Even better is one that doesn’t include an accusation. “I feel stressed when you get upset over stupid shit” works better if you keep it to “I feel stressed when you get upset.” – keeps the discussion on feelings instead of openning it up for an argument on stupid shit.
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I know this is a joke but it made me think how messed up it is that we’ve outsourced recognizing our own emotions lol
Also, now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things
You say outsourced, but it’s not like (men largely, but probably everyone) were super in touch with our emotions previously.
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Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.Sounds like a great way to get a chair upside the back of your head.
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None of that sounds productive to me. It seems accusatory and self-satisfied to the point of being abusive. Sounds like the kind of things infuriatingly rude people say and do to try and deflect from their own toxicity.
I thought that was the joke; this is such terrible advice that it’s obviously a troll/sarcasm levels of joke.
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I know this is a joke but it made me think how messed up it is that we’ve outsourced recognizing our own emotions lol
Also, now a bunch of companies have tons of data on when and where we feel things
The “take a minute to breathe” thing is on a timer; it doesn’t react to detected emotions.
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I kinda like it when my watch tells me that im stressed out and to do a breathing exercise. it helps me realize that I’m probably upset over absolutely nothing in the heat of a moment.
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Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away.The number of people addressing this post as serious advice is troubling.
Laughing when I got to “Close your mouth”!
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Telling people “calm down” is a very unconstructive de-escalation tactic because it has no substance. People respond much better if you address specific conduct, explain a potential consequence, ask for something else, and then give space.
For example, when someone needs to calm down, I tell them “You’d better fix that attitude problem of yours before it gets you into trouble”, and then as soon as they begin to respond I interrupt with “Close your mouth” and I walk away. This makes people realize they’re overreacting and they calm down right away. -
My Fitbit like to congratulate me on getting so many In The Zone minutes. I’m not working out, but thanks I guess?
My Fitbit does this because my resting HR is so high, lol
