Man fucks up longtime relationship. Friends don't succeed in keeping him from drunk-posting to try fixing it. Onlookers feel only scorn.

This is as close as he’s going to get to apologizing for that fuckup. His girl’s got her bag packed, waiting on the Uber, and the best he can do is say he really does like her lasagna. Totally won’t throw it in her face next time. Even though he used to cook much better than her.

That is way too coherent to be Trump.

He didn’t write this. This is someone trying to fix his fuck up. It just comes across as completely time deaf though, like they don’t even realize they botched the exact things they’re talking about

New metaphor just dropped.

“things”

“game”

Things, ya know? Thinnnnnnnnngs. And gaaaaaaaame. *eyebrow wiggle* Things and game. Nudge nudge.

used to but forgot, but totally will be better once all knowledge has been extracted. plz stay and touch pp

Not all caps, 20 y/o staffer wrote this.

And said staffer is dumb enough to think it’s both grammatically correct and in Trumps voice at the same time.

Yeah this isn’t the Donald, no mention of Biden, no ramblings, and even a slight touch of introspection which is impossible for the narcissist to accomplish.

I feel like someone only just explained this to him and now he feels like he’s a galaxy brain posting it

They even threw an emdash in there, so it was probably written by AI

Imagine the ghostwriter tasked with this, trying (and failing) to dumb down his post to sound like his moron boss.

No all caps words, but still a lack of understanding of how quotes work.

Agreed. Since his stroke he is all thumb.

Absolutely zero chance in Hell Trump himself wrote that.

And yet it still sounds like the ramblings of an old man. It’s brilliant.

This is off topic but I wonder how long it will take before we learn the identities of the people who have access to Trump’s twitter account. Ever since presidents started using Twitter in office nobody really assumed they were writing posts themselves , they have comms teams for that. Trump’s relationship with Twitter had always been different, and the gimmick has always been that it’s his way to talk to the people without the MSM filter.

But we know at this point that he doesn’t write all his own posts and we also know that he sometimes criticizes specific companies. Anyone with even 15 mins of notice about these posts going live can make easy money on the stock market. It would almost be silly if there weren’t people making a killing off it.

Its illegal of course but that hasn’t mattered for a while.

As a former designer/typesetter/typographer, it pains me to admit that this is probably the case.

I don’t want to frighten off or disincentivize investment into America by outside countries or companies

Says the guy who stopped any and all US government investment into companies and countries outside America. It’s like that comic of the dog with a ball; “no take, only give”.

So we should invest money in the US and then teach Americans on how to take away our business from us? All while those non-American “teachers” you so dearly need can and will be snatched up by the Nazi-US GeStaPo at random in order to fulfill some quota?

Does nobody in that government even notice how stupid this sounds?