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  1. Home
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  3. Lemmy Shitpost
  4. N. 5

N. 5

Scheduled Pinned Locked Moved Lemmy Shitpost
lemmyshitpost
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  • ekZeppE ekZepp
    This post did not contain any content.
    K This user is from outside of this forum
    K This user is from outside of this forum
    krunklom@lemmy.zip
    wrote last edited by
    #12

    When will humankind figure out how to build a porto potty that can handle a number 5?

    1 Reply Last reply
    1
    • ekZeppE ekZepp
      This post did not contain any content.
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      C This user is from outside of this forum
      chessmasterrex@lemmy.world
      wrote last edited by
      #13

      Too many White Castles

      1 Reply Last reply
      0
      • ekZeppE ekZepp
        This post did not contain any content.
        F This user is from outside of this forum
        F This user is from outside of this forum
        formfiller@lemmy.world
        wrote last edited by
        #14

        Trump tower in a just world

        1 Reply Last reply
        2
        • D dwemthy@lemmy.world

          Nothing beats the high of organic, colon cooked meth. Too bad it doesn’t mix well with chemical toilets

          felixwhynot@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
          felixwhynot@lemmy.worldF This user is from outside of this forum
          felixwhynot@lemmy.world
          wrote last edited by
          #15

          I figured they were smoking the pipe and caught something on fire

          1 Reply Last reply
          1
          • ekZeppE ekZepp
            This post did not contain any content.
            I This user is from outside of this forum
            I This user is from outside of this forum
            i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca
            wrote last edited by
            #16

            Someone had a giant blue.

            1 Reply Last reply
            0
            • ekZeppE ekZepp
              This post did not contain any content.
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              B This user is from outside of this forum
              betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
              wrote last edited by
              #17

              Hey, I know this spot! That building in the background is the studio where they film for Hot Ones. No big deal, they’ve got a contractor on speed dial for whenever it needs replacement.

              L 1 Reply Last reply
              10
              • ekZeppE ekZepp
                This post did not contain any content.
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                C This user is from outside of this forum
                capricorn_geriatric@lemmy.world
                wrote last edited by
                #18

                Number one is pee, number two is poo, and number three is barf.

                What are four and five, then?

                ekZeppE H steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.worksS 3 Replies Last reply
                4
                • C capricorn_geriatric@lemmy.world

                  Number one is pee, number two is poo, and number three is barf.

                  What are four and five, then?

                  ekZeppE This user is from outside of this forum
                  ekZeppE This user is from outside of this forum
                  ekZepp
                  wrote last edited by
                  #19

                  All shot together with five apparently. 💥

                  1 Reply Last reply
                  2
                  • S s

                    He ate the radioactive Walmart shrimp

                    H This user is from outside of this forum
                    H This user is from outside of this forum
                    howabt2day@futurology.today
                    wrote last edited by
                    #20

                    FukuShrimpA

                    1 Reply Last reply
                    0
                    • B betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world

                      Hey, I know this spot! That building in the background is the studio where they film for Hot Ones. No big deal, they’ve got a contractor on speed dial for whenever it needs replacement.

                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                      L This user is from outside of this forum
                      lemmyknowsbest@lemmy.world
                      wrote last edited by
                      #21

                      Oh I get it. You made a joke about hot wings resulting in people blowing up toilets.

                      B 1 Reply Last reply
                      6
                      • L lemmyknowsbest@lemmy.world

                        Oh I get it. You made a joke about hot wings resulting in people blowing up toilets.

                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        B This user is from outside of this forum
                        betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
                        wrote last edited by
                        #22

                        Yes, you figured out the joke and explained it.

                        A 1 Reply Last reply
                        4
                        • S sendmephotos@lemmy.world

                          Spicy food will do that

                          G This user is from outside of this forum
                          G This user is from outside of this forum
                          greddan@feddit.org
                          wrote last edited by
                          #23

                          Not really, unless you’re severely overeating spicy things to the point that it damages your stomach lining. The more common scenario is eating rancid meat, that’s been camouflaged with excessive seasoning to hide the taste.

                          T 1 Reply Last reply
                          4
                          • O ozfive@lemmy.world

                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            S This user is from outside of this forum
                            St3alth
                            wrote last edited by
                            #24

                            Such a good film

                            1 Reply Last reply
                            3
                            • G greddan@feddit.org

                              Not really, unless you’re severely overeating spicy things to the point that it damages your stomach lining. The more common scenario is eating rancid meat, that’s been camouflaged with excessive seasoning to hide the taste.

                              T This user is from outside of this forum
                              T This user is from outside of this forum
                              tryitout@infosec.pub
                              wrote last edited by
                              #25

                              I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night…

                              1 Reply Last reply
                              1
                              • B betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world

                                Yes, you figured out the joke and explained it.

                                A This user is from outside of this forum
                                A This user is from outside of this forum
                                agent641@lemmy.world
                                wrote last edited by
                                #26

                                I congratulate you both for this successful social interaction.

                                1 Reply Last reply
                                13
                                • ekZeppE ekZepp
                                  This post did not contain any content.
                                  salty_chief@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  salty_chief@lemmy.worldS This user is from outside of this forum
                                  salty_chief@lemmy.world
                                  wrote last edited by
                                  #27

                                  Hater “You must think you’re hot shit!”

                                  Me *Points to porta-john

                                  Me “Not hot but lava motherclucker!”

                                  1 Reply Last reply
                                  7
                                  • This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥T This is fine🔥🐶☕🔥

                                    I think a terminator arrived from the future 😥

                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    W This user is from outside of this forum
                                    whiskytangofoxtrot@lemmy.world
                                    wrote last edited by
                                    #28

                                    No, it’s Number Five. Didn’t you read the title?

                                    J 1 Reply Last reply
                                    1
                                    • ekZeppE ekZepp
                                      This post did not contain any content.
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      B This user is from outside of this forum
                                      bluefalcon@discuss.tchncs.de
                                      wrote last edited by
                                      #29

                                      I told the woman at the counter😢😢😢 low spice level. She said it wasn’t hot.

                                      1 Reply Last reply
                                      2
                                      • C capricorn_geriatric@lemmy.world

                                        Number one is pee, number two is poo, and number three is barf.

                                        What are four and five, then?

                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        H This user is from outside of this forum
                                        herrvogel@lemmy.world
                                        wrote last edited by
                                        #30

                                        Number 4 is when the force of your shit cannot be contained within the bowl and you have to spend some time cleaning around it when you’re done.

                                        Number 5 is when the force of your shit cannot ne contained within the bathroom and you have to pay for renovations when you’re done.

                                        1 Reply Last reply
                                        0
                                        • C capricorn_geriatric@lemmy.world

                                          Number one is pee, number two is poo, and number three is barf.

                                          What are four and five, then?

                                          steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.worksS This user is from outside of this forum
                                          steamymoomilk@sh.itjust.works
                                          wrote last edited by
                                          #31

                                          We dont speak of number 4,
                                          Number 5 however is when you do all 1-4 all at once and the pure force and gravitational pull makes a mini black hole then quickly explodes.

                                          1 Reply Last reply
                                          4

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