Important update: It's 10 poptarts

The filling is like a bad taxidermy. You know what it is but it’s just not right. Icing is more of the same. The biscuit(?) part is cake flavored cardboard.

Why you putting poptarts on pizza?

Is a poptart a pizza?

Does he get to eat the poptarts afterwards?

Cheap garbage preservative junk food.

It’s trying to be some kind of fruit filled pastry. Imagine the cheapest ingredients you could source, to mass produce as many as possible with the longest shelf life possible. I think they probably come frozen? I haven’t had one since I was a kid like 30 years ago, and that would have been at a friends house because my parents wouldn’t but that crap.

I do eat other frozen type junk food though. Like frozen burritos. So it’s not like it’s beneath me or anything.

You’re right about everything except the frozen part. They can just sit in a box in your cupboard because they’re basically made of plastic.

Yeah I wasn’t sure on that part. That’s crazy that the filling is shelf stable and keeps.

Someone get this person a Nobel prize.

Once every 2-3 years I forget what they’re like, see a box on the shelves, and think hey they actually look quite fun.

Then I get it home and the contents look fuck all like the picture on the front, and also it tastes, not bad as such, but disappointing and definitely not worth the calories.

Poptarts on a borzoi
You know, you know
This is serious

Cardboard

Isn’t it Kerbie, or am I missing another layer of joke?

Derlöngënsniffer

They are incredibly flammable. Basically just a slab of glucose fructose.

with old jam

You have to buy frosted. You have to toast them. Otherwise they’re just cardboard: you can’t really tell them apart from the box

Great now it has captured my soul

it’s kermie, because the audio is miss piggy

Thanks, this is what I was thinking of but fucked up my muppets lore haha